To borrow an idea brought forth from The Simpsons, the first billion or so most popular websites on the internet probably have something to do with either pornography or naked celebrities. That means that each day, millions and millions of men (and...women?) search for some way to gratify themselves with one of two options: straight-up porn that ranges on the fake scale somewhere near the top and the sex scenes of numerous celebrities. I suppose I could just say numerous "female" celebrities because it seems just about every female actress has bared her chest at some point to jump-start a career. To those who have not: you have managed to contain your dignity (although some of you have lost it in a myriad of other ways) and I commend you for that.
When faced with that fork in the road, the option of going left or right in terms of individualist sexual gratification, I applaud those who take the road less traveled - that of the naked celebrity. It is rare to find a movie in which a woman completely bares her naked body (if she does, it is disguised as "art") and near impossible to find terribly raunchy sex scenes between the leading lady and her partner. Therefore, on that lonely night where you can't stand to watch another Jay Leno monologue or a Sportscenter jerk-off-the-Yankees-extravaganza broadcast, you are forced to use your imagination.
Hollywood sex scenes leave a lot to be desired, which I would say is pretty much the point. Without all the nudity and sex neatly laid out for the viewer, one is forced to dust the cob webs off the old imagination and get its engine revving once again. Just what is under those expertly placed sheets? How much can one extend the scene in the mind when all we are given is a few blazing-fast humps with one or two moans? You have to be creative with this, teasing out all the possible scenarios in your mind with that one second of an exposed, juicy thigh.
On the other hand, you porn people: do we really need to see all these inexplicable acts displayed before us? Where's your creativity? Come on, can't you imagine nauseatingly loose buttholes without the aid of a video? And wouldn't it be better to imagine doing these things with a good-looking woman with, say, good teeth? That's why it is porn - it's not for the most imaginative.
Of course, for all of us who have participated in either of these options (even it was just once), we were all pathetic at some point. Sigh.
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4 comments:
Imagination? Bah. While do you make some viable points, Rickey will always be a big fan of this genre of film making.
And as you alluded to; it's always so quiet in those frantic, yet well regulated scenes. (I mean, not that I've seen them myself, but so I've been told.) Not to get too graphic about it, but if I'm making love to someone, I would hope to get some response beyond the swelling crescendo of some 1001 strings composition. (My luck it would be a complaint, but any feed back contains useful info.
Enjoying your blog, Don
Wow, Rickey, I used to love you when you played ball. Thanks for finding the time to visit my blog - you must be busy with the Mets and stuff (I'm joking there, by the way).
Don - as useful as any feedback might be, a complaint is a surefire way to ruin a man's rhythm, if he's got one going on. In fact, it's almost earth-shattering. Thanks for commenting.
Sex scenes in literature are even worse, as you do not get to see a damned thing.
I demand pictures of Jane Eyre's breasts, confound it!
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