No problem with 'No Country for Old Men'

The Coen brothers consistently make the best and most unique movies in all of Hollywood. Therefore, it should come as no surprise that 'No Country for Old Men' is easily one of the best movies of 2007, if it isn't already the number one choice for some.

The cat and mouse chase that ensues throughout the entire movie is gripping, leaving a very noticeable trail of blood. Llewelyn Moss (played by Josh Brolin) finds quite a bit of money when happens to come across the aftermath of a drug deal gone terribly wrong. However, Anton Chigurh (and the Oscar goes to...Javier Bardem) is hot on Moss' heels, attempting to get back the money and restore his own sense of twisted justice.

Tommy Lee Jones is Sheriff Ed Tom Bell, attempting to piece together everything that happens, but always happens to be a few steps behind. That is, of course, not his fault and he manages to work his own way right into the heart of the situation. It would seem that this movie has a typical ending in store, but the audience is certainly rewarded when the climax finally hits.

It's a simple story that never offers much in the way of character backgrounds and motivations. Instead, the film is content with letting the audience make its own assumptions about these people. After all, little else even needs to be known and every character's actions speak loud - about as loud as a sawed-off shotgun. The mystery surrounding a character like Anton will help make him a villain that resonates with moviegoers for a long time.

'No Country' is a film that will do well for itself during awards season, and is finding more of an audience as it continues to get released in more theaters. With brilliant acting and a deadly, but memorable, game of pursuit, it will soon find its way into highly-esteemed lists. For Joel and Ethan Coen, that is all fairly routine by now.

Here's another review of the movie that is most definitely worth checking out.

Getting to the library more often

Standing in line at the library with the one book I had finally decided on (The Best American Short Stories of 2006), I walked up to the clerk who dutifully followed procedure and took my library card. I had to dig it out of my wallet, considering I had not visited the library in months, with good reason of course. However, every once in a while, I get this deep separation anxiety from the place and this insatiable desire rushes over me until I actually get up and go.

"You have a small fine of one dollar," I was told, but that was it. I figured she would ask me if I wanted to pay it right then and there, but no - nothing. It was as if I could pay whenever I wanted, or never at all.

What's a dollar, I thought, so I paid it. But we both knew I didn't have to, making me the one with power. I told her, "I could take this book, never pick it up for months, return it whenever I damn well please, and all you could do was tell me I had a small fine. Ha-ha-ha! How does it feel to be so weak under my extreme power?"

Then I got on top of a table. "Attention library patrons," I said, "bow before me unless you desire an imminent, yet slow and painful, death!" Then I threw the book in the clerk's face and broke her nose.

I love the library.

Have you seen me?

Standing at the little island in the middle of my kitchen, I eat a makeshift turkey sandwich with globs of mayonnaise and mustard descending down the sides and onto my fingers. It's a quick lunch, so I stand there, staring ahead out the window, allowing my mind to drift to another time in my life, or perhaps simply what I'll be doing in the next five minutes after I finish.

I look down to see the mail that was brought in earlier - another day of bill paying and sifting through advertisements to find one potential deal that might save everyone some money. The large collection of local ads came today, so I'll occupy my time with that. Before I even get a chance to begin the sifting process, I notice the ad right on top; more importantly, the ad within the ad at the bottom of the page.

The small rectangle, not more than a few inches long and wide, is a "Have You Seen Me?" ad. Two pictures occupy this one, a son and a father, both missing since 2001. At the time, the child was only three years old, so an age-progression was done to six years to help the public further.

This all made me laugh. Not because of the unfortunate father and his son; that was truly unsettling. What was funny was that the age-progression of the son was actually sponsored by Firestone Complete Auto Care. It said, word for word:

"Age-progression to six years sponsored by Firestone Complete Auto Care."

Um, what?

This is one step closer to the entire world being advertised. Soon, everything you touch will have an advertisement. You'll be an advertisement. As soon as your child exits the womb, there will be someone there to slap an ad on him or her (gender depends on the type of ad, of course).

And who decided it was a good idea to sponsor the age-progression?

"Boy, I sure do feel bad for those lost souls in the world, and their grieving families. What a shame. Wait, I know! I can sponsor this age-progression and slap the company name on there for some added publicity! Yes!"

Superman Too Drunk to Save Doomed School Bus

OMAHA -- A tragic day in Nebraska began with a bus full of schoolchildren falling off a 200-ft. high cliff, all to their unexpected demise. What is more startling, and perhaps more upsetting, is the apparent drunkenness of the doomed bus' supposed savior.

Superman, the world's most highly regarded and renowned superhero, was visibly drunk as he attempted to save the bus full of children at 8:30 am. The blue-clad hero was swaying in the sky, wobbling about in a path that was unlike his normal straight-as-a-bullet flight pattern that has earned him such beloved nicknames through his life.

"It was obvious that Supes was completely drunk," says Morton Landau, a witness to the scene. "He couldn't fly straight and when he finally did land, we had to point him in the right direction. Not to mention that we [Landau's family] noticed he smelled like cheap whiskey."

Onlookers say that while Superman initially seemed capable of saving the children, it became evident quickly that the hero was in no shape to save anyone. Utter confusion soon turned to vicious anger, as the hero was heard saying "everyone is out to get me" and "if any of you look at me, I'll kill you."

Through deep sobs and endless tears, Gladys Jones was able to say this: "Superman had no idea what he was doing, but we were all afraid to say anything."

The joyous shouts of the children were quickly stifled as Superman proved he was incapable of bringing the bus back over the side of the steep cliff. Holding onto the back bumper, Superman was unable to get a firm enough grasp on the bus to pull it back over. Witnesses prayed and watched with dropped jaws and pure bewilderment. Unfortunately, those prayers were not answered and he finally let go when he felt the urge to vomit whatever it was he had previously been drinking.

"I smelled that puke," says Jimmy Hayes, another witness. "He was definitely drinking alcohol. I picked that puke up, and I'm selling it on eBay for 50 bucks a bottle."

Pure silence followed until Superman, still stumbling and muttering various obscenities, finally took off into the sky.

"Superman has been under plenty of stress lately," says Richard Pearson, the hero's lawyer. "This is nothing more than an unfortunate accident. Superman was fully aware of his actions and was not under the influence of any kind of alcohol. He did everything he could to save those poor children."

The bus was on its way to a field trip when it slipped on an icy patch of road. The momentum forced the bus to break through the guardrail and increasingly teeter over the edge of the cliff.

Superman was unavailable for comment.