Taste that delicious irony

Do you smell that irony? It's so rich and tempting. Take just a little bite and let it sit in your mouth while you savor the juices that are sending your taste buds into their equivalent of an unforgettable orgasm. I smell it at least. What I'm talking about is my blog's "intelligence level." The new feature that I put on my sidebar claims that the apparent intelligence it takes to read my writing is at a genius level. I find this ironic and supremely gratifying to know this, not because what I write has some shred of intellect, but because I write a lot about killing famous American authors and farts. In fact, "fart" is one of my most-used tags.

There you have it - genius readers love farts and numerous references to sodomy, pornography, and brutal murder.

If you want to find out the intelligence level of your blog, go to this link:

http://www.criticsrant.com/bb/reading_level.aspx

All you have to do is fill in your URL and you will apparently find out what level of education it takes for one to understand your writing. If you're like me and you enjoy a gratuitous murder scene every now and then, you are most assuredly on the fast track to a blog only geniuses will truly understand. And yes, I am making "fart" a tag for this.

Great American writers

Let's say I am put in an empty room - no doors, windows, or any possible way of leaving without murdering the reincarnations of some of the best American writers in history. I'll come out proudly holding Gertrude Stein's severed head. I'll dig my fingers into Sherwood Anderson's eyes, leaving him screaming for mercy. I save the best for William Faulkner: I methodically slice off bits and pieces of his skin and force him to eat it. How therapeutic.