Have you seen me?

Standing at the little island in the middle of my kitchen, I eat a makeshift turkey sandwich with globs of mayonnaise and mustard descending down the sides and onto my fingers. It's a quick lunch, so I stand there, staring ahead out the window, allowing my mind to drift to another time in my life, or perhaps simply what I'll be doing in the next five minutes after I finish.

I look down to see the mail that was brought in earlier - another day of bill paying and sifting through advertisements to find one potential deal that might save everyone some money. The large collection of local ads came today, so I'll occupy my time with that. Before I even get a chance to begin the sifting process, I notice the ad right on top; more importantly, the ad within the ad at the bottom of the page.

The small rectangle, not more than a few inches long and wide, is a "Have You Seen Me?" ad. Two pictures occupy this one, a son and a father, both missing since 2001. At the time, the child was only three years old, so an age-progression was done to six years to help the public further.

This all made me laugh. Not because of the unfortunate father and his son; that was truly unsettling. What was funny was that the age-progression of the son was actually sponsored by Firestone Complete Auto Care. It said, word for word:

"Age-progression to six years sponsored by Firestone Complete Auto Care."

Um, what?

This is one step closer to the entire world being advertised. Soon, everything you touch will have an advertisement. You'll be an advertisement. As soon as your child exits the womb, there will be someone there to slap an ad on him or her (gender depends on the type of ad, of course).

And who decided it was a good idea to sponsor the age-progression?

"Boy, I sure do feel bad for those lost souls in the world, and their grieving families. What a shame. Wait, I know! I can sponsor this age-progression and slap the company name on there for some added publicity! Yes!"